The Peace Filled Road of Uncertainty

“What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax”

“People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” – Jesus (taken from The Message, Matthew 6)

Much of what Jesus said doesn’t make sense to us. I have heard many put this on our western mindset and worldview, which I agree is quite crippling, but the ones who heard his words firsthand didn’t get it either. That’s why they killed him…and if we’re honest…we too would have most likely been in the mob shouting, ‘crucify him’.

Jesus spoke in paradox. He mentioned a life in a kingdom that was not understood then, and not any easier for us to understand now…mostly because people think it’s a kingdom that is to come, not one that has already come and can be lived in here and now.

This kingdom, the one where Heaven exists on earth, where the economy is made up of grace and the currency of choice is love; it’s a paradoxical one for sure. It’s the world where the last will be first, where servants are leaders defined, where social status means nothing, where a child’s heart and vision is your most valuable possession, an upside down reality where cheeks get turned, where tunics get given away, where enemies are prayed for, where religion dies, where blessed are those who mourn, the poor in spirit, and the peacemakers.

What about certainty? Where does it fit in this here and now reality that so few find?

It doesn’t, at least not without consequence. What do I mean by certainty? I mean our obsessive need to be certain about everything. It’s about control. It’s about controlling every single part of life to the greatest extent possible so that one is never surprised. Certainty is the disease that nags at you to know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, twenty years, and that everything will be okay. Certainty is born out of fear, out of fear that we might not be okay. The thing about certainty and control is that they are symptomatic. They have these little partners that they travel with: anxiety, stress, frustration, agitation, and fear.

Certainty, the desire and pursuit for everything in our lives to be perfect, to turn out okay, robs one from life itself. It robs of love because love cannot be controlled or manipulated. It robs of joy because one cannot enjoy and live in the moment, the here and now. It robs of peace because there is always something else or someone else to control. It’s really hard to relax and enjoy life when your always looking around the corner, making reactive decisions from past mistakes, wondering when and where it will go wrong and how you can prevent life from happening…which, is exactly what your doing…PREVENTING LIFE FROM HAPPENING!

The paradoxical thing about uncertainty is that it requires trust, and trust is very hard to have as the very reason the desire to control is apparent is due to fear. “Well, SHIT”! That’s what I said when that reality hit me. I realized I was in a cyclical pattern where fear fueled my desire for certainty and control and caused me to miss out on the very thing I was attempting to control.

Jesus said, “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax.” He’s saying trust me, I got this. He’s saying look, I’m sustaining the very thing you are trying to control. It’s going to be okay; even if it’s not okay it will be okay. “TRUST ME”, is where the mystery of faith comes in to play. It takes faith to trust in someone to take care of all the things we worry about. Control is easy compared to trust. Trust is hard. Trust is hard because it requires us to lay down all the things that make us comfortable and let go. Trust is hard because it’s not about doing; it’s about a state of being. We are really good doers but most of us suck at being. I’m not talking about becoming a Christian, reading your bible more, or finding more time to pray. Those are all good things but the last thing that people who struggle with certainty need to DO is add a list of things to adhere to. What we need is to learn how to BE.

So where does all this giving up, letting go, and trust lead? Peace. It leads to peace. The mystery of uncertainty is that it leads to peace. I know it doesn’t make sense except for in the paradoxical kingdom of Heaven that really does exist in the here and now.

“Don’t worry, do not be anxious, relax, trust me.” These are not commands from Jesus that are required for you to do in order to gain. They are suggestions on a better way to live. Jesus cannot make you live like this and there is no punishment for not listening to the wisdom from the suggestions. There is only self-inflicted consequence that will rob you of the best that this abundant life has to offer. Obedience is the blessed gift we are given to enter into rest, into uncertainty, into peaceful living.

Uncertainty is easier said than done. It takes time and patience. After all, you don’t just break a lifetime of control and worry with one decision. It’s a lot of decisions in each moment, in each day, that will make the difference. It’s the decision to trust, to let go, that will be available and only you can choose. Try choosing one area to start. Choose one area or aspect of life where certainty is kicking your ass and choose to stop controlling it. Don’t know how? Ask for help! Find someone you know and that cares about you and have a conversation about it. Admitting that you need help is the greatest form of courage I can think of.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I can tell you that uncertainty is addictive! Once you experience the peace that comes from laying down angst, worry, fear, you want more and more of it. I’m not certain about a whole lot anymore and I love that! I’m certain of the fact that I am loved and accepted by God, by my wife and kids, and a whole host of friends. I’m certain that in life there will always be things beyond my control and I’m okay with that. I’m certain that I have the power to choose how I want to live and have the ability to choose joy, to live present in each moment, and to ask for help when I have not yet learned how to do something. I am certain that uncertainty is a much better way to live and approach life as the adventure that it is and that peaceful living is the result.

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

 

The Healing Process – Part V, Playing through the Pain

Michael Jordan is my favorite athlete of all time.  To me there is much evidence to prove that he is the greatest basketball player to ever lace up a pair of high tops.  I grew up in one of the greatest eras of the NBA.  Jordan, Bird, Magic, Thomas, Malone, Olajuwon, Robinson, just to name a few.  These guys forever changed the game that I love but Jordan was by far my favorite.  He did things on a basketball court that had never been seen before.  I have vivid memories of watching his moves and then trying to imitate him on my own basketball court in the driveway.  “Like Mike, if I could be like Mike”!

One of the greatest moments of Jordan’s career came in the ’97 NBA Finals against the Utah Jazz.  It was a tight series and hours before the start of game 5 it was announced that Jordan might not play due to having the flu.  Somehow I knew Jordan would make his way onto that court.  Michael Jordan is one of the fiercest competitors of all time in any sport.  And play he did.  From the start it was obvious that Jordan was not quite himself but he played, pushing through the pain and effect of the flu.  Jordan would end up playing 44 minutes despite his weak body. He was visibly tired and sluggish throughout the game. He finished the game with 38 points, 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals and 1 block. With only a few seconds remaining and the game’s result safely in Chicago’s favor, Jordan collapsed into Scottie Pippen’s arms creating the most replayed and lasting image of The Flu Game.  The Bulls would go onto win the championship and Jordan would earn another Finals MVP award, further cementing his place in Basketball history.

How do you choose to handle the pain of life?  When we find ourselves in those seasons where for whatever reason life is just really painful how do you respond?  If your anything like me the tendency is to stop living.  Pain has a way of robbing us of experiencing life altogether.  It’s as if nothing good can happen or be experienced when life doesn’t make sense.

What if it didn’t have to be this way?  What if you could learn to play through the pain?  The problem with hurt, disappointment, and suffering is that we allow it to become our identity and control us.  When we live consumed by our shame, our past, our failures, we learn to stop living and life just goes passing by.  We become spectators instead of participators.  In all areas of life we end up surviving, just trying to get from one day to the next.  This cannot be the abundant life Jesus spoke of.

Over the summer one of the hardest lessons I have ever learned was to play through the pain.  Everything inside you tells you that your circumstances are so overwhelming that you don’t deserve to play.  Then we feel bad for letting our circumstances control us.  It becomes a vicious cycle.  We become anxious, depressed, stagnant, merely surviving instead of thriving.  What if I told you that one of the healing steps toward wholeness is learning how to play again?  It is true and is very important for the healing process.

Our minds only have the ability to focus on one thing at a time.  If we sit and focus on the problem then our problems become our life.  We start to own them, we wear them on our faces, and they become our identity.  We convince ourselves that we aren’t worthy or deserving of a good life with the ability to play.

The opposite is true as well.  Choosing to play and live again doesn’t make the problems disappear.  They are still there.  Our struggles and circumstances don’t magically stop existing just because we choose to play.  However, they do become less and less visible while play, and we truly live even if only for a moment.  When we are playing we are living in the moment and focused on that moment.  I guarantee while Michael Jordan was playing that game he was not thinking about having the flu.  He was focused on the game and doing what he was destined to do.

For many of us we allow the pain of our past to rob us of our present and our future.  There is nothing the enemy wants more by the way.  The father of lies loves to remind you of your past and destroy any hope for a better future.  This is what Jesus comes to destroy and do away with once and for all.  The abundant life he talks about is experienced in Him and relationship with his Father through the Spirit.  They are present in our darkness.  Waiting for us with open arms, inviting us to come to them and find rest, to be made whole, and learn to live again.  They replace our sorrow with joy, our fear with hope, our chaos with peace, and our pain with a promise.

What have you stopped doing that you used to enjoy?  Before your innocence was lost what made you happy and full of life?  Who have you stopped being because of the pain?  I encourage you to spend time thinking about these questions and then having the courage to rediscover them.  You are not broken, you are not unlovable, you are not worthless, and you are certainly not alone.

In choosing to play through the pain we choose life.  We take power away from the circumstances of life that have robbed us of so much.  We open ourselves to a greater understanding of our identity and new possibilities of our present and future.  We only get one life.  We have one shot to experience abundant life on this earth.  This is part of how we make the ugly beautiful.

Live this week.  Love this week.  Do something spontaneous this week.  Feed your soul this week.  Look the pain square in the eye and tell it to go to hell.  Refuse to be a victim and choose life.  Only you hold the power to do this.  Choose to live into your true identity as the Beloved and surround yourself in the unconditional love and embrace of the Father.  Life awaits…take hold of it!

Be blessed…You already are!