The Peace Filled Road of Uncertainty

“What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax”

“People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” – Jesus (taken from The Message, Matthew 6)

Much of what Jesus said doesn’t make sense to us. I have heard many put this on our western mindset and worldview, which I agree is quite crippling, but the ones who heard his words firsthand didn’t get it either. That’s why they killed him…and if we’re honest…we too would have most likely been in the mob shouting, ‘crucify him’.

Jesus spoke in paradox. He mentioned a life in a kingdom that was not understood then, and not any easier for us to understand now…mostly because people think it’s a kingdom that is to come, not one that has already come and can be lived in here and now.

This kingdom, the one where Heaven exists on earth, where the economy is made up of grace and the currency of choice is love; it’s a paradoxical one for sure. It’s the world where the last will be first, where servants are leaders defined, where social status means nothing, where a child’s heart and vision is your most valuable possession, an upside down reality where cheeks get turned, where tunics get given away, where enemies are prayed for, where religion dies, where blessed are those who mourn, the poor in spirit, and the peacemakers.

What about certainty? Where does it fit in this here and now reality that so few find?

It doesn’t, at least not without consequence. What do I mean by certainty? I mean our obsessive need to be certain about everything. It’s about control. It’s about controlling every single part of life to the greatest extent possible so that one is never surprised. Certainty is the disease that nags at you to know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, twenty years, and that everything will be okay. Certainty is born out of fear, out of fear that we might not be okay. The thing about certainty and control is that they are symptomatic. They have these little partners that they travel with: anxiety, stress, frustration, agitation, and fear.

Certainty, the desire and pursuit for everything in our lives to be perfect, to turn out okay, robs one from life itself. It robs of love because love cannot be controlled or manipulated. It robs of joy because one cannot enjoy and live in the moment, the here and now. It robs of peace because there is always something else or someone else to control. It’s really hard to relax and enjoy life when your always looking around the corner, making reactive decisions from past mistakes, wondering when and where it will go wrong and how you can prevent life from happening…which, is exactly what your doing…PREVENTING LIFE FROM HAPPENING!

The paradoxical thing about uncertainty is that it requires trust, and trust is very hard to have as the very reason the desire to control is apparent is due to fear. “Well, SHIT”! That’s what I said when that reality hit me. I realized I was in a cyclical pattern where fear fueled my desire for certainty and control and caused me to miss out on the very thing I was attempting to control.

Jesus said, “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax.” He’s saying trust me, I got this. He’s saying look, I’m sustaining the very thing you are trying to control. It’s going to be okay; even if it’s not okay it will be okay. “TRUST ME”, is where the mystery of faith comes in to play. It takes faith to trust in someone to take care of all the things we worry about. Control is easy compared to trust. Trust is hard. Trust is hard because it requires us to lay down all the things that make us comfortable and let go. Trust is hard because it’s not about doing; it’s about a state of being. We are really good doers but most of us suck at being. I’m not talking about becoming a Christian, reading your bible more, or finding more time to pray. Those are all good things but the last thing that people who struggle with certainty need to DO is add a list of things to adhere to. What we need is to learn how to BE.

So where does all this giving up, letting go, and trust lead? Peace. It leads to peace. The mystery of uncertainty is that it leads to peace. I know it doesn’t make sense except for in the paradoxical kingdom of Heaven that really does exist in the here and now.

“Don’t worry, do not be anxious, relax, trust me.” These are not commands from Jesus that are required for you to do in order to gain. They are suggestions on a better way to live. Jesus cannot make you live like this and there is no punishment for not listening to the wisdom from the suggestions. There is only self-inflicted consequence that will rob you of the best that this abundant life has to offer. Obedience is the blessed gift we are given to enter into rest, into uncertainty, into peaceful living.

Uncertainty is easier said than done. It takes time and patience. After all, you don’t just break a lifetime of control and worry with one decision. It’s a lot of decisions in each moment, in each day, that will make the difference. It’s the decision to trust, to let go, that will be available and only you can choose. Try choosing one area to start. Choose one area or aspect of life where certainty is kicking your ass and choose to stop controlling it. Don’t know how? Ask for help! Find someone you know and that cares about you and have a conversation about it. Admitting that you need help is the greatest form of courage I can think of.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I can tell you that uncertainty is addictive! Once you experience the peace that comes from laying down angst, worry, fear, you want more and more of it. I’m not certain about a whole lot anymore and I love that! I’m certain of the fact that I am loved and accepted by God, by my wife and kids, and a whole host of friends. I’m certain that in life there will always be things beyond my control and I’m okay with that. I’m certain that I have the power to choose how I want to live and have the ability to choose joy, to live present in each moment, and to ask for help when I have not yet learned how to do something. I am certain that uncertainty is a much better way to live and approach life as the adventure that it is and that peaceful living is the result.

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

 

The Process of Change

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

 

The process of change is different for each of us. I know some people that live for change, that eat change for breakfast. It’s almost as if life makes more sense when change is constant, and more difficult when a routine begins to take place. I also know some people that resist change like the plague. To them, change is extremely difficult, a painful experience to be avoided at all cost and only entered into when the pain of the present is unbearable. If you are like me then you probably find yourself somewhere in the middle of that landscape.

 

I have made numerous changes in my life over the last two years. My own pendulum has swung from the type who only changes when a crisis arises, to the type that looks for change, to somewhere back in the middle. Regardless of where you are on that pendulum I would like to discuss the process of change, especially as it relates to creating the life you want for yourself.

 

Many people spend a lot of time and energy thinking about the kind of life they want. Very few have the courage to take the necessary steps to make it a reality. If there is one thing I have learned its that change doesn’t happen until you make it happen. The life that you want will not be handed to you gift wrapped with a shiny bow attached. It will not drop out of the sky and land in your lap. Creating positive change in your life is hard work, extremely hard work that requires us to act on the impulse and intuition of our heart. The first step of change is the move from thought to action.

 

Once that happens there is a natural high that is experienced. You will feel proud (and you should) of yourself for taking that necessary step of actually doing something about the change you want. It really is a kind of euphoria. However, the problem is that the euphoria will wear off quickly. As you start out to create change and work for change, it will get hard. If it’s not getting hard then you probably aren’t doing the work. All change requires sacrifice and once the positive energy of starting begins to fade you will feel the weight of that decision. Your old modes of operation, thinking, habits, they will start to kick in. This is the resistance. Your conscious will come up with all sorts of lies, stories, and reasons for you to quit but you must remember that the more resistance you feel the more you really want the change.

 

Now what? What do we do once we have made the decision to change and then feel as though it is impossible? What do we do when we are making the sacrifice for a change not yet realized and everything inside of us tells us stop and go back?

 

First, I want to remind you that a decision to change is already a victory. Celebrate that choice! How many people do you know that only talk about their dreams? How many times in the past have you talked about losing weight, changing careers, stopping a bad habit? Don’t undermine the value of stepping into the fear with courage and deciding to go for it. You are in the game. As Brene Brown would put it, you are in the arena daring greatly.

 

Second, may I suggest that you develop some sort of reminder of your desired outcome in front of you? What is it that you are hoping this change will bring about in your life? You have to answer that question with crystal clear clarity. The vision of your desired outcome will fuel you when you want to give up, when the voices swirl in your head, when others think you are crazy. Without it, the percentages of giving up sky rocket. This is especially important if the change you are seeking will be a long transition. My wife and I are in the middle of a massive change in our lives. We even have a name for our cause, “Team Glover.” It may seem silly but this change is really hard. We are both sacrificing every day for the change we want to bring about. Individually, our sacrifices look different but we are both giving so that our entire family can experience more freedom. Freedom is our desired outcome. We are one year into a two year commitment and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to give up, but what keeps me going is the picture of our preferred future. To me that is what vision is all about, a picture of a preferred future, and we get to create it.  Paint your picture with clarity and vibrant colors, and when you feel overwhelmed draw that image up close and remind yourself of why you decided to change in the first place. As you journey toward the destination remember where you came from, how far you’ve already traveled, live in the present, and continue to imagine what it will feel like when your dream comes to fruition.

 

Finally, you will need grace for the ups and downs of change. You will need grace for the people closest to you, and you will need to have grace for yourself. Change usually brings uncharted territory. You will make mistakes. You will get frustrated. Others will get frustrated with you. It’s all part of the process and to be a giver of grace is of great importance. Be good to yourself when you struggle. Be gracious when your decision to better yourself makes others angry or jealous. People have a hard time when we change because we become unpredictable as we make positive choices that affect our behaviors. Some of your relationships may suffer, some of them may need to end, but in both instances grace can rule the day. Yes, you can extend grace while you separate yourself from a toxic person that continues to pull you down and suck the life out of you. In the end you get to choose how you handle the difficulties that may arise in your relationships with others, and your relationship with yourself. Choose wisely.

 

Change is difficult, and it is exciting. It doesn’t have to be either/or. Recognize that it is difficult and enjoy the journey to your preferred future. Pretty soon, you will stop thinking about how far you have to go and realize that you are living life as an individual who is taking ownership of his/her life.

 

I leave you with words inspired by none other than AC/DC:

 

For those about to change…I salute you!

 

Leave a comment and tell me about your change, and your preferred future. I want to celebrate with you.

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

Not Aloneness

One of the most terrifying feelings we can experience as humans is that of loneliness.  There are times where I enjoy being alone for moments at a time but after a while I always crave interaction and intimacy with another.  We’re wired that way.  We were not made to be alone.

 

 

 

Loneliness can be so overwhelming because it carries an accompanying partner that is ruthless and relentless.  That partner is fear.  Show me someone who is lonely and you will also find someone who is scared…ironically enough, scared of being alone.

 

I believe that loneliness is directly associated with the pain, sadness, emptiness, and loss we experience in life.  It comes from the wounds we experience, the failures, and the circumstances that we find ourselves in, and when life just doesn’t turn out the way we expected it to.

 

Let me add as well that you don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.  I know many people that are surrounded by others but have no deep connection with another soul.  Interaction is not the same as intimate contact and community that we crave and thrive on.

 

If I may, let me interject here that I wholeheartedly believe that we are never alone…never, even when we choose to be.  Sure, we may feel lonely but our feelings are not always representative of the truth.  I may feel that I am worthless but the truth is that I don’t determine my worth…God does…and the truth about that is God says that I am very worthy, valuable, and deserving.  So it is with our feelings of loneliness.  I am never alone.  You are never alone.  It is simply impossible.

 

Why?  Because whether you believe it or not, or believe in God or not, they are always with you.  Yes, I said they.  When we talk about God we must not talk about God in singular terms, but plural.  God consist of the three in one, one in three, Father, Son, Spirit.  We call it the Trinity but most of us do not understand this mysterious and beautiful reality of God.  They are never apart.  They are unified in all things.  They are separate from one another yet operate in perfect harmony.    There is no rivalry among them.  They live in community, with a selfless other focused love that consists of endless life and love between them, sharing all things, especially their love for all of creation and have opened up their circle of fellowship for all to live in, dwell in, and enjoy.  God with us does not apply solely to Jesus.  Far too often Jesus is the sole affection of our attention when there would be no Jesus for us to love if it wasn’t for the dream of the Father to reconcile us through the Son by the Spirit.

 

What does this have to do with our loneliness, or not aloneness?  God is everywhere, all the time.  There is nowhere we can run to escape God.  There is no situation, no circumstance, and no event that can separate you from God.  God has always been, God will always be.  Especially in your darkness, your suffering, your abyss.  If you are looking for God, they are always present in your hardships…in your loneliness.  You may not recognize it, you may not feel it, but I promise you it’s true.  This is why we are reminded that there is no fear in love because perfect love drives out fear.  It’s not about your love for God being perfect either, it’s about the perfect love between Father, Spirit, Son that has been opened up and offered freely to you.

 

Wherever you are today, you are not alone.  Wherever you are on this journey, you have companions.  Is it a quick fix?  No, absolutely not.  If you are lonely, if you are scared, if you have been beat down and beaten up by life I am by no means belittling those feelings.  They are real.  I am infusing hope.  I am reminding you that no matter how real the feelings, no matter how scary, that you are not alone.  God IS with you, sharing in your suffering, feeling every bit of pain and loss that you feel, identifying with your brokenness and offering you an all encompassing, unconditional love, and eternal embrace to fall gently into.

 

Hope is real.  Love is real.  Grace is a reality…for you.  May you realize today, no matter what you are facing, that you don’t face it alone.  The one who holds all things together is indeed holding you too.

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

What to do with Fear?

Like many children I can remember a period where I was terrified of the dark.  Lying in bed with all the lights out my mind seemed to dream up all sorts of horrible things that could happen in the dark.  As I look back as an adult I have noticed that I was only afraid of the dark when I was alone.  Fear feeds on the lonely.

 

Shame is a partner in crime with fear.  The two work hand in hand to create a perfect storm that can paralyze the strongest.  A little over a year ago I was mired in this position.  Fear has a hay day when we internalize and become silent.

 

Thou shall not lie.  We are taught this from a young age.  But what happens when the lie that is being told is derived by us…and about us?  Our minds are both brilliant and scary.  In the same day our minds dream up the most beautiful and demented scenarios.  Most of us hide these dark places and thoughts, afraid of what others might think if they really knew what we were thinking.  How do we expect others to speak truth when we won’t share the lies we believe?  Fear loves to hold us in this pattern.

 

I have begun to view fear as an opportunity for courage.  I used to think that courageous people had no fear.  Completely false.  Fear, and the willingness to step into it is exactly what makes one courageous.  Courageous people are the ones who are strong enough to admit their fears, ask for help, and do the hard work of knowingly stepping into scary circumstances unsure of the outcome.

 

What to do with fear?

 

Hear is what I know.  Darkness is always exposed by light, shame is destroyed by grace, and lies cannot stand up to truth.

 

In dealing with fear the first step is to acknowledge it.  You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge.  By acknowledging fear you are not saying that it is true or that it controls you.  You are simply saying that fear is present, that it is real.

 

Speak it.  As stated above fear loves to prey on the lonely.  It convinces us that we are weak.  It denies the existence of love, grace, compassion, and keeps us stuck in our comfort zones.  Vocalize your fear.  Find someone you trust, someone you can talk to, and tell them what you are afraid of.  In doing so you instantly take power away from the fear.  What goes unspoken largely goes ignored but not forgotten.  Fear does not go away when we ignore it.  It resurfaces over and over again until we make a decision to do something about it.

 

I have spent much of my life afraid.  Afraid to succeed, afraid to fail.  I have ignored it, avoided it, and pretended it wasn’t an issue.  IT DOESN”T WORK.  The lies get stronger, the lonely get lonelier, and the rut you find yourself in only gets deeper.  Life becomes rigid, uneventful, mundane, and void of joy.  If you want out, then face it.  Stare the fear right between the eyes without blinking and refuse to become its victim.

 

You already possess everything you need to overcome your fears.  Believe in yourself, use your voice, and take a step toward the fear instead of running away from it.  With every step you take back freedom and realize that you are not powerless.  Fear has no place in your life unless you give it permission to be there.  My advice is to be gentle with yourself and deal swiftly and fiercely with your fear.  The difference between being stuck and free is choice.  You are literally one decision away from overcoming fear and that decision is completely up to you.

 

Make that choice.  Take the first step.  Acknowledge it, speak it, be courageous.

 

 

The Present Moment

“I feel lost.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  Nothing I try works.  It doesn’t matter how much I work, how much I make, how successful I am…I’m never satisfied.  I’m constantly looking for something to make me feel normal again, searching for something to fix how lonely and empty I feel inside.  I don’t enjoy anything, I can’t remember the last time I felt at peace, and the thought of what the future might hold scares me to death. “

 

I just had that conversation with a friend this week and I can’t tell you how many more I’ve had like it in recent months.  I get it.  It wasn’t too long ago when those exact words were coming out of my mouth.

 

I believe that one of the great detractors that robs us from joy is our inability to live in the present moment.  Learning this practice has been one of the hardest endeavors I have undertaken.  It is actually much easier to live distracted, running at a frantic pace constantly keeping yourself busy to ignore the pain your running from than to actually stop and face the music.  Once you stop and actually lay down all the vices used to avoid whatever feelings are keeping you stuck, all you have is what is keeping you stuck.  This is why so many live for their work, live for their kids, live for possessions, or live addicted.

 

Living in the present requires us to come face to face with what we don’t want to face.  It is scary and our initial reaction is to run and hide from fear…and you can certainly choose to do so but don’t expect anything to change.  There is no magic pill or cure for these things.  If you want to breakthrough the chains that keep you bound up then the first step you must take is a step toward the pain and not away from it.

 

Our lives are meant for the present, the here and now, this is where life is.  Today, right now, this very moment…life is waiting for you to take hold of it and live it to the fullest and you can’t do that living in regret, filled with shame about the past, and you certainly can’t do that anxiously and fearfully wondering about what tomorrow may or may not bring.

 

The truth is that nobody can do this for you but you.  You are the only one that can make the conscious choice to courageously embrace what this moment has for you. I used to be amazed at how people could knowingly choose what is not best for them.  Then I experienced it for myself and slowly began to self-destruct.  The harsh reality is that you can live stuck for as long as you want to…no one will stop you.  The good news is that you can decide to do the work whenever you decide that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Until then my hope is that you become more and more discontent with living mired in the past and afraid of the future.

 

 

What is keeping you stuck?

What do you do to avoid the issues you don’t want to face?

What is it costing you to not live in the present moment?

How could live be different if you decided to live in the here and now?

Friendship…what I’m learning and why it matters – Part 5

Sharing Your Friends

 

Sometimes in life we have a tendency to hold on to a good thing with a tight grip when we’ve finally found it.  The reason may vary but most often it is connected to a fear that if we don’t keep a close watch then it will slip away like sand slips through the cracks of our fingers.  The culture we live in plays a role in this line of thought as we are taught to look out for number one, protect our possessions, and put our own needs above the needs of our neighbor.

 

In the past I have been this way with my friends.  Good friends are hard to come by and for those of us who don’t make them so easy our tendency is to hold them close, much like our favorite toy that we wouldn’t let others touch or play with when we were children.  What I am learning about friendship is that good friends need to be shared.  We need to consider sharing our friends with others, and opening ourselves up to be shared.

 

I have not stumbled upon this…I have experienced it.  I am a part of a community that is really good at this.  I have never experienced anything like it before…not on a sports team, not in family, and not in church.  I only started to realize how much some of my friends really loved and cared for me when they began to share their friends with me.

 

Can you ever have to many friends?  True Friends?  Friends that show up, share life with you, celebrate with you, and care enough to tell you the truth when they see you stumbling.

 

When we hold our friends so close that we keep them from other possible life-giving relationships, we rob three parties.  We rob our friends the opportunity to make more friends.  We rob others the opportunity to make a new friend, and we rob ourselves the joy of enlarging our circle of friendship.

 

Perhaps this happens because we are afraid that are new friends will like our old friends better than us.  Perhaps we are hesitant to let our new friends introduce their friends because if we offer ourselves up they might resist…and the fear of rejection overtakes the excitement of new possibilities.  Whatever the reason we only end up hurting ourselves when we resist sharing and being shared.  We subject ourselves to the fear, become our own judge and jury, and then carry out our own sentence.

 

Examine your group of friends.  Think about which of your friends might benefit from the opportunity to make more friends.  Arrange some meetings, invite others to coffee, lunch, or have a party.  Open yourself up to possibility, to opportunity, to relationship, friendship, to creating community.  You can sit back and wait for it to happen, or you can create it.

 

To each of my friends I want to say thank you.  That seems very inadequate but it is what my heart feels…lots of gratitude for each of you.  Thanks for being in my life.  Thanks for caring for me and loving me unconditionally.  Thanks for letting me love you back and offer my gifts to you.  Thanks for sharing your friends with me.  I love each of you!

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

Just Be Strong?

It has now been a month since the loss of my brother.  I continue to process the realization that he is no longer physically present with us in this life.  I want to reflect on something that has really been eating away at me since his death.

I want to say right away that this is in no way an indictment of others or what they have said during this time but rather a reflection of my own heart and continued grieving process.

 

For the two days of visitation and funeral services I heard one particular statement over and over that stung me like a quick bee sting each time I heard it.  It was said in a variety of ways but the message was the same.

 

“Just Be Strong”

“Stay Strong”

“Your family needs you to be strong”

“He would want you to be strong”

 

Now, I must admit that I have said similar statements to other people who have lost loved ones as well, but over the past year I have shifted my position on such thinking and here is why.

 

In our culture I believe there is a massive fear in showing weakness.  I think we say things like, “Just be strong” because sometimes we don’t really know what to say and it is like a default response when we are at a loss for words.  I also think we say such things because we are programmed to think that showing strength in the midst of extreme suffering is an act of valor, a badge that we will earn and sew on our jacket so everyone will know how strong we are and see our ability to hold it all together when in reality everything is falling a part.

 

Why is weakness seen as such weakness in our world?  Why do we pride ourselves on being strong or at least pretending to be strong when we are really broken hearted?

 

What I am trying to say is that it takes much more courage to admit weakness and be vulnerable then it does to have false courage pretending to be strong so others think we have our shit together.  God forbid we actually acknowledge that we are human beings with real feelings and real hearts that get broken.  I would even suggest that when we promote a false sense of strength in the midst of suffering our hearts break even more because we deny ourselves the opportunity to feel the pain and great sorrow it is expressing.  We also miss a chance to let others hold our hearts and share in our sadness…we are too afraid to let someone else hold our broken hearts and help put the shattered pieces back together.  And if you’re like me…then you get mad that people don’t come around and check in or encourage you…but why would they?  Strong people don’t need that sort of help…they have it all together!

 

I have a dear friend that says to me over and over again, “Never waste a good crisis.”  I am convinced and I have experienced that real growth and change comes when we let our crisis situations become an opportunity to step through fear and into growth.  It takes great courage to take a step into fear but I don’t think that step requires great strength.  In my vocabulary strength and courage are not synonymous.  I believe that the step to lean into pain, grief, and suffering is one that is born out of weakness.  We do not grow by being strong, jumping across the sea of fear.  We grow by wading slowly into the fear, into the unknown, feeling every emotion it has to offer, allowing others to help us navigate the currents of those dangerous waters.  We grow by admitting our limitations, recognizing our brokenness, and courageously taking a swim in the sea of fear.

 

It is a long swim…at times we struggle to keep our head above water and the waves often come lapping over our heads and we take in some water.  We may even sink a few feet under the surface but that is when we surround ourselves in community and allow others to reach their hand down and pull us up so we can take a breath.  We paddle, we kick, we struggle, and eventually with the help of Papa and others we reach the other side and we realize that Father, Spirit, Son, really are perfect strength in our weakness.  We crawl up on the shore, lay in the sand as the sun breaks through the clouds, its glow warms our bodies and pierces our hearts and our strength is renewed by the illuminating light of a Jesus in whom there is no darkness and the Spirit breathes new life into our lungs while drawing out the fluid we took on during the swim.

 

Paths of healing are not to be conquered by the strong, they are to be navigated by the weak.  When we are constantly pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps there is no acknowledgement of the fear that is necessary to propel us to growth.  Pull on those straps long and hard enough and eventually they break.

 

Lean into the pain with no guarantee of the outcome and you will find that in weakness a resolve develops the likes you’ve never seen or experienced before.  In that place, the darkness is overcome with light, fear is met with courage, sorrow is accompanied by joy, and weakness is transferred into strength.  Growth happens not by avoiding, but by acknowledging…and heading straight for the caution tape, lifting it up and walking into the crime scene.  Unless this occurs a false sense of security and strength keeps us yanking on those bootstraps day after day.

 

It is only by traveling down the unknown roads that you can arrive at a destination you’ve never been to before.  The road is fear…the destination is freedom…the first step is weakness…the end result is a strength you don’t have to pretend to have!

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

Spontaneous Adventure

I love a good adventure, don’t you?  I believe there is something inside all of us that longs to get out of our normal routine, and simply explore life.  What is it about adventure that makes our adrenaline flow and causes an excitement to rise up inside of us?

 

For me it is the unknown that makes adventure so…well, adventurous!  I love taking rides in the country on roads I haven’t been on before.  On vacation I love seeing new places, talking to new people, and experiencing all that a new place has to offer.  I love the mountains and how you can hike for hours and not see the same sight twice.  It makes me think about Lewis and Clark and what it must have been like for them to explore territory that no other eyes had ever seen.  But most of all what makes an adventure special for me is having no plan whatsoever.  Spontaneity to me is what makes adventure grand.

 

Have you ever been around people that have to plan out every second of their lives?  Perhaps you are one of those people, or you live with one.  Please don’t be offended but I can’t help but wonder where is the sense of adventure when ones life is precisely and carefully planned out.  I get the fact that we are not all wired the same way but I can’t help but feel that our culture is way over structured, carefully planned, and we have worked very hard to create a risk free way of living.

 

Truth is that adventures are sometimes dangerous and a little bit scary…but they are also a hell of a lot of fun!  I think if I could choose to go back and live in any era it would be that of the Wild West…I would want to be a cowboy.  The lyrics of the old Toby Keith song come to mind:

“I should’ve been a Cowboy

I should’ve learned to rope and ride

Wearing my six-shooter riding my pony on a cattle drive

Stealing the young girl’s hearts

Just like Gene and Roy

Singing those campfire songs

I should’ve been a cowboy

I might of had a side kick with a funny name

Running wild through the hills chasing Jesse James

Ending up on the brink of danger

Riding shotgun for the Texas Rangers

Go west young man, haven’t you been told

California’s full of whisky, women and gold

Sleeping out all night beneath the desert stars

Dream in my eye and a prayer in my heart”

My life right now is presenting an opportunity for lots of adventure.  I am in a season with lots of unknowns, with the outcome hanging in the balance.  This is not a vacation experience, a decision to waste a Saturday, or taking a day off work just for shits and giggles.  This is my life, which means there are three other lives involved.

 

As I weigh out the possibilities the tempting and sensible choice for me to make is the safe one.  The one where I take a job I don’t want, where I live a life I’m not cut out for.  I have done that plenty of times in the past and in the end I’m the one that denies the beat of my own heart for the safety and security of a solid paycheck.

 

On the other hand I have an opportunity to make a different decision, one that involves great mystery, an uncertain future, one where I push all my chips to the center and go all in.  For years I have been playing it safe because that is what society tells me I need to do, because that is what good Father’s do, because that is what responsible men who provide for a family do.  Where is the adventure in that?

 

I have no desire to live the next 12 years of my life doing something that is not me to merely raise my kids, working a job I hate, and ignoring my own heart in the process.  I don’t want a career, I want a life, and to go after the life I want…I’m going to have to be willing to take a huge risk…one that scares the living daylights out of me, which brings me back to adventure.  A good adventure is scary for at the very core of adventure there are no guarantees.  It’s like jumping out of a plane and having no 100% guarantee that the parachute will open…but you jump anyway.  It’s like climbing the face of a mountain with no guarantee that the rope will be strong enough to hold you…but you climb anyway.  It’s standing at the edge of a cliff not knowing what lies beneath the surface of the water…but you jump anyway.  Your heart races, your mind tries to convince you that your heart is wrong and to play it safe…but you follow your heart and dive head first into the unknown!

 

I am a free spirit, a carefree soul that has been tied town for too long.  I don’t want to live chained to an ideal that I don’t believe in.  In the end, this is my life and what may work for some does not work for me.  I have no desire to walk through this life playing it safe, saving for retirement just to live in a big house that I don’t need and seeking my adrenaline rush on the golf course.  I want adventure, spontaneous adventure.  I want to ride in the open plains, exploring new country, not knowing where the next challenge may lie…I want to blaze a new path instead of traveling roads that have been walked by numerous people before me…and I want to surround myself with people who seek the same.  The only thing better than an adventure is an adventure that is shared with others!

 

Call me crazy but I believe adventure is available to us everyday.  On this journey that we call life exists opportunities each day for excitement, for heart pounding experiences that are calling out to us.  The more I think about it the more excited I get and I have decided that for me…life is an adventure to be enjoyed, not an equation to be solved.  I’m diving in…head first…in the deep end!  Hope to see you along the way.

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are

Time to Practice – No Worries

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” – Paul Young

When I was a little boy my family went through some pretty tragic situations.  One of the most vivid memories I have as a youngster comes from Christmas time when I was eight years old.  It was a beautiful night filled with lots of laughter, snacks, friends, and some time around the Atari 5200!  A fresh blanket of snow lay over the ground and the excitement that school was cancelled filled the air, as did the warmth of family.  There were presents under the tree, smiles on our faces, and joy in our hearts.

 

When laid to rest that night I could hardly sleep for the anticipation of the coming day and playing in the snow.  Snow didn’t come all that often in Kentucky so we took full advantage when blessed with the mysterious flakes that one by one covered the ground, creating a huge playground for us boys.  Later that night an unexpected event would take place that threw a major wrench in those plans…our house caught on fire.  I was woken up in a panic by the screaming voices, and the rush to get everyone out of the house.  In that moment no one was thinking about the night before or the day ahead; no, we were focused on the present and survival.

 

The days that followed proved to be very taxing on our family.  Where would we live?  Where would we go?  What would we wear?  The questions were many but the answers were few.  However, somehow as an eight-year-old boy I knew that we would be all right.  When it came right down to it, I trusted my Father.  I had confidence that even though we were up against great odds and an uncertain future that my Father would take care of me.  What a gift to be reassured even in the presence of fear that my Dad was around to remind me that though times may be tough, he was present and promising to take care of me.  Those words did not take away the scary feelings or make fear totally disappear, but they gave hope and in the face of fear hope is what points the way to light amidst the darkness.

 

In the middle of Jesus’ famous sermon on the mount he spoke to the crowds about the topic of worry:

 

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

 

Currently I find myself in the aftermath of another fire.  There are questions that swirl, an uncertain future that lies ahead, and lots of opportunity for fear and anxiety to set in, causing me to lose sight of the present by worrying about the future.  It is interesting how he handle and view such times differently as adults than we do as children.  There is a reason that Jesus instructed us to have the faith of a child.  Children are most likely the most stable individuals in these moments due to their simple faith and ability to trust in moments of uncertainty.  I see it in my own children right now as they are trusting me as their Father for their every need, which has allowed them to stay present and live in each moment as if nothing has changed whatsoever.

 

I am realizing that what I need to develop once again is a simple but profound trust in my Father, to realize that through the example of the Son, and the whispers of the Spirit, that the Father can be trusted in the face of adversity.  This is what having faith is all about right?  What good is faith if in the face of darkness we fail to see his glorious light and depend on the promises that are more than mere words on a page, but our daily bread and the inspiration that springs forth hope, allowing us to lean into his loving embrace.

 

Complete honesty…I’m scared.  I don’t know what is going to happen, I don’t know what the future holds and I have no idea where this current road will lead me, the valleys or turns that the road may hold or how long the journey of the unknown may last.  The only guide I have is Jesus who in the face of unbearable suffering and pain turned to his Father and was reminded of his place at the Father’s table, the glory of his face, the kindness of his touch, the hope of his promise, and the reminder that he was not alone.  Even on the cross, especially on the cross, gasping for breath, unrecognizable to his own mother, Jesus was not alone…His Father was present in the darkness and never left his Son to suffer alone.

 

And that my friends is why Jesus told us to relax, to hold firm in our faith, to trust, and not worry…because his Father will never ever leave us alone in our darkness.  In fact, I believe he was communicating that especially in these times the Father is more present than ever and the Spirit is a constant reminder that we do not walk alone.

 

“Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say. 

Never once did we ever walk alone.  Never once did you leave us on our own. 

You are faithful, God you are faithful. 

Carried by your constant grace.

Held within your perfect peace.

Never once, no we never walk alone.”  – Matt Redman (lyrics from “Never Once”)

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are!

 

 

Time to Practice…Sink or Swim?

What a weekend!  Have you experienced tremendous life change in an instant?  Where one minute your walking a certain path and the other there is no path whatsoever?  Change can be funny like that and can play a myriad of tricks on our emotions, feelings, and overall health.  Our heart may skip a beat, the load we carry might seem a little heavier, our blood pressure might creep up, or perhaps the anxiety level rises to dangerous heights.  We all respond to such challenges in different ways but one thing is certain…when unexpected change comes our way we get the choice in how we react.

 

My wife and I have been spending a lot of time recently thinking about how we want to live and the kind of life we want to create.  Perhaps like many of you this was a foreign concept to us.  Unfortunately, way too many of us have been sucked into the consumer driven American dream that leaves with little to no choices…or at least we think.  The truth is that we always have choices, lots of them, and if you allow it to be so, unexpected change can bring a plethora of positive choices.

 

I have never been a go-with-the-flow kind of guy.  There is something in my DNA that screams out toward the status quo, rule following, and to be quite frank I really don’t like anyone telling me what I do or don’t have to do.  That last statement really has very little to do with submitting to authority, but more to do with someone else shaping how my life is lived.  As human beings we were not created to hold that sort of power over one another yet we have created a world that revolves around it.

 

Back to my original thought…my life has recently undergone a massive and sudden change.  Over the course of the weekend I had many decisions to make and many choices in how to respond.  After some serious self-examination and heart connecting I made some choices that were very hard, but very rewarding and in the days ahead while navigating this change I will have the chance to keep making those choices.  Ultimately, it’s up to me in how I am going to respond.  I can let this opportunity for change be a setback, or I can let it catapult me into a new way of living and be a starting point in creating the life I want and what I was made to do.

 

The best part is realizing I am not alone.  It reminds me of the story where the disciples were in the boat with Jesus when an unexpected storm brought all it’s fury on the sea of Galilee to their little fishing vessel.  Jesus was asleep when the storm arose and obviously not too concerned with the sudden shift in the weather.  The disciples however absolutely flipped a lid.  They were scared, afraid for their lives, and ran to wake him.  Out of fear they displayed their outrage and lashed out to their friend and Rabbi claiming that he didn’t care about them since he was sleeping and they were on a sinking ship.  Jesus woke up and spoke peace to the elements, the storm stopped, and the chaos was over.  He then turned his attention to his pupils and no doubt gave them a little lesson when it comes to fear and the connection with he and his father.  “Why are you afraid?  Do you still have no faith?”

 

I believe the storm would have been much easier for his followers to handle if they would have had fair warning that it was coming.  Their reaction was no doubt directly connected to the unexpected that quickly became a reality.  In such moments fear can play a starring role and stop us in our tracks.  We feel alone, we are frightened, and as the wind and waves come crashing it is easy to respond in desperation.  I sometimes wonder if the disciples considered other options or thought about the other choices they may have had before rushing to wake Jesus from his sleep.  We will never know for sure but I’d be willing to bet that waking Jesus was their first option rather than their last.

 

My change is here.  Like it or not I have found myself in the middle of the sea in a boat with a raging storm brewing up.  You may be going through a similar situation.  What will you do?  How will you respond?  What choices will you make?  Are you scared, frightened, depressed, anxious, and hopeless?  If so, what are you telling yourself to combat those lies and feelings?  When we tell ourselves only one story and picture a certain outcome it can be very hard to see anything other than our ship completely sinking.  Here is another thought to consider…let us go worse case scenario!  Your ship sinks…what do you do?  In the moments where your life and fate hang in the balance how do you respond?  Does the thought of swimming even cross your mind or do you succumb to the circumstances and drown?  Again, we have the choice…to sink, or to swim.

 

So my wife and I have been talking about things for a long time but just sitting on our hopes and dreams.  Now, I have suddenly been put in a situation to either sink or swim.  It is time for me put into action what we have been practicing.  I have choices, lots of them, and I’m the only one who can make them.  I have not been abandoned…I am not alone in this storm.  Jesus has not forsaken me anymore than His Father forsook him.  He is there, all three are there, Father, Spirit, and Son are very much present.  Are they asleep?  Perhaps.  But maybe if they are resting it is because they are inviting me to rest with them…right in the middle of the shit storm.  Could it be possible that the triune God of grace simply wants me to rest and relax…to let them fight for me, love me, and lead me to the best choices?

 

My friends these are the moments where our faith is put to the test.  We can be swallowed up in fear, or we can look the storm in the eye knowing that we have one who speaks on our behalf that commands the storm and speaks peace be still…and the storm actually has no choice but to obey!  These are the moments where we can respond reactively, grip our lives even tighter out of desperation, and try to make our own way, or we can let go and step into the freedom of trust, faith, and endless possibilities.  If we can have this approach our sinking ship can turn into a sturdy aircraft carrier forging the way to a new destination that our lives have so desperately longed for.  Won’t you practice with me?  Lets flip the script on fear and live courageously on new adventures full of mystery, excitement, and the journey of the unknown.  When we were children we would have jumped at the chance…what has changed that we so reluctantly step out on that limb now?  I’m ready to take the leap…are you?

 

The choice is yours and mine…sink or swim

 

Be Blessed Friends…You Already Are