The more time I spend in relationship with people the more I am reminded that human beings are built for relationship. Literally, it is in our DNA for God is love and dwells eternally in perfect relationship. The evangelical world has drastically missed the beauty and mystery of the trinity. The trinity is not a concept, a notion, or a shape that we draw to help us make sense of it all. The trinity is God…Father, Spirit, and Son, who have always existed in perfect relationship and always will. I believe their relationship was so beautiful, so pure, so other centered and selfless that it inspired the dream of creation that God made a reality, and the motive behind the dream…to share their relationship with all of creation, including us. Therefore, we have an innate desire to know and be known, to love and be loved. We were not designed for isolation, to go at life on our own, we were made for relationship…with God, and with others.
While the relationship that the Father, Son, and Spirit enjoy is perfect and without fault, our relationships aren’t. In fact, sometimes they get very messy. Living in community, sharing our lives with one another, BEING in relationship with other human beings is extremely hard work. We are not perfect; we are not completely selfless or other-centered. When we enter into relationship with others we bring into the dynamics our own brokenness, and others bring their baggage too. It is for this reason that I believe many choose to not enter into authentic community. True community and relationship requires something that is not easy for us to do, it requires vulnerability, it requires us to trust, it requires us to be willing to take a risk at loving while knowing full well that the offer might be rejected, and for many the reward is not worth the risk.
I have recently thrown myself into community on many different levels. My desire and search to be involved in community has been a long one. I have found it in bits and pieces but never like I have in the past year. What I have discovered is that I absolutely come alive when I share my life and heart with others. Something magical, supernatural happens when we are able to trust people enough to take the leap to place our hearts in the hands of others and let them hold it. I am fortunate that I have been presented an opportunity through the BREAKTHROUGH community to learn how to do that healthily. Now I know what I am looking for, what my heart longs for, and I’ve started cultivating relationships that are like food for my soul. I couldn’t imagine going back to the old way of life I had known for so long, we were meant for relationship and the more I develop them the more I want them. It is scary to put yourself out there enough to put your life in the hands of others, but the return on the investment is huge!
Having said that, relationships are tough and living in community is not easy. It is hard work. Living in relationship is always risky business and there is always a possibility of being hurt. As mentioned earlier I’ve developed several different circles of relationship and community but there is one main group of people that I share life with. We have been meeting and doing life together for close to a year and the joy that these people have brought to my life is immeasurable. They have wept with me, held me up when I couldn’t stand, prayed for me when I couldn’t pray, mourned with me, and rejoiced with me. In a few short months I have developed deeper and more meaningful relationships with these people than I have my own flesh and blood family. It’s not always perfect, but it is always beautiful, even when conflicts arise. But when you love someone for who they are and not what they can do for you, there exists the possibility to not see conflict or arguments as a personal attack. Instead, compassion wells up inside me and because I love these people I choose to engage them where normally I would turn and run because they are important to me and I’m important to them, so we push through the muddy waters and reach even deeper levels of love for one another after we do.
If you are waiting for perfect community and relationship before you jump in…keep looking! That only exists within the circle of love between the Trinity. Seeking for perfect relationship with people is kind of like looking for a perfect church…there is no such thing, because people are a part of both and we humans are just plain jacked up! Anywhere you find people brokenness, pain, selfishness, past experience, and walls that need to be torn down are present. As we build relationship though these pieces are slowly torn down piece by piece and behind the walls of insecurity lie beauty, a perfect creation, sons and daughters, the Beloved children of a Father who made them to be loved and to love, to be known and to know. By BEING in relationship we live out the dream of creation and experience just a taste of what the Father, Spirit, and Son enjoy with each other. If you don’t like being in relationship I’m not sure you will like Heaven very much. Whatever your concept of that place is, whatever it turns out to look like, and wherever that happens, I am 100% sure of one thing…Relationship will be the driving force of our existence there for God in Christ reconciled the whole of creation to himself and has swallowed us up in relationship.
What about you? How do you experience relationship? What keeps you from relationship? Does the thought of sharing your life with others scare you or excite you? These are questions worth considering, our heart is begging for us to consider them. I can only speak for myself and as I have considered these questions I am left with one resounding answer…I want relationship and everything that comes with it. I desire to BE in relationship with God, and to continually learn how to be in relationship with others. I want to share this journey called life with anyone willing to be real enough for me to see his or her heart, and allow me to share mine, even if it gets a little messy sometimes!
BE BLESSED FRIENDS…YOU ALREADY ARE!
theuglybeautiful 